Impossible to tell...

Yes and no. Note that I'm neither excusing nor condoning, because I really don't like this kind of he said, they said back and forth. It's nearly always missing the original context, which goes much further than the immediate exchange, the environment, and so on.

I'm merely pointing out that there is a time and place. Reading the room is a Thing, and yes, neurodivergent people can be particularly bad about that at times. That's why civil reminders to keep the tone polite are sometimes necessary. But I'm not at all advocating no consequences to repeated bad behavior even as one of the people that has sometimes admittedly been on that end of things (because of said lack of filtering and because I'm also a member of a few oft-targeted minorities so I really do understand both sides of this kind of thing).

> When you introduce this kind of simplistic "don't use bad words" hammer, you can end up pushing out the people who care most about doing the job right...

When you introduce any sort of restrictions, you can end up pushing out people who are very successful at putting out good code. But I don't think complaining about "simplistic" is the problem here. Simplistic rules are easy to follow. Making the rules more complex makes them harder to follow, and doesn't strike me as being less likely to have problems with people who aren't interested in following those type of rules at all.