Too many lords, not enough stewards

Yes it is - long term. Short term it is very cheap.
Apparently working with certain maintainers is also expensive (with others it is a joy).
Depending on your particular needs at a particular time it makes sense to perform a cost/benefit analysis and decide what the best course of action is.
Maybe the best approach is to persist with the maintainer.
Maybe it is to try to route around them.
Maybe it is to fork and maintain a separate tree for a while, and then try to merge again in 6-12 months when circumstances might have changed.
Maybe it is to fork permanently.
Key point is that you have options and you can take control within the parameters of those options. You cannot force other people to change their behaviour, but you can choose how you will behave, and it is valuable to have a clear view of all of the options.
How a person chooses to behave typically speaks more loudly than unsolicited opinions they might choose to present.