Quotes of the week — squirrel security

Squirrels are funny rodents. If you model their behavior you will declare that they are herbivores. In California (where many strange and wonderful things happen) squirrels have begun to eat voles, a very carnivorous behavior. If you believe in modeling as a way to identify correct behavior, you have to say that these furry creatures that eat voles are not squirrels.

I have a pet squirrel named Rocky that I have owned since it was a pup and its mother was killed crossing Douglas County Road 7 in front of our house. He lives in a small kennel in our house.

Every day I take Rocky outside and open the door to his kennel. Rocky runs around the yard twice and then up an oak tree and loads his cheeks with acorns. He comes back to his kennel, eats his acorns and falls asleep until the next day.

One night Jay Evil sneaks into the house, abducts Rocky and replaces him with his evil squirrel Rabid, who looks exactly like Rocky but fell out of a tree on his head when he missed a jump from one branch to another and hasn't been right since.

As usual, the next day I take what I think is Rocky out into the front yard and open the kennel door. The faux Rocky runs out into the yard, chases down, attacks, kills and begins to eat our German Shepherd Max.

Conclusion, this squirrel's behavior is suspicious and should be remediated.

TSEM, as a high granularity modeling architecture, would interrupt the process when the squirrel began to chase Max.