Examples of where it's done right

We are talking about different things, I think. One is a disagreement of leadership position and it is ok to state that out loud publicly regardless of your rationale as long as you specify it clearly. The other thing is to engage in name calling and so on.

In other words, it is ok to say, this patch is broken, can you fix it by doing foo and bar? It is unnecessarily harsh to say, you have a lousy patch and you are brain dead. Even if you are doing that to someone you know very well, it is a public list and potential contributors are lurking.