Perl5 [...] I mean, come on, it can't even collect reference cycles ... subroutine signatures ...
Who cares, for the kinds of things Perl was originally intended to, and where it excels? It works fine as a "better sh" or a "better awk". I have found it to be just about the perfect language for small programs in the range of 100 ... 1000 lines that do some file manipulations and/or launch other programs. For large programs there exist several more suitable options, so there is no point in extending Perl beyond its original design.
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