I'm sure that people at SQL standards committee meetings are friendly. But flying halfway across the world at great expense and doing things behind closed doors is a 19th century way of doing things. Modern standards like HTML5 are developed in the open and discussed on mailing lists and IRC. This just makes things easier and cheaper for everyone-- especially users and developers of related software, who actually get a chance to see what developers are discussing.
Also, not all people who work on open source databases are volunteers.