Brevity, or perhaps more to the point, simplicity, is a good goal. If it's important enough, I suggest replacing "at no more than a nominal charge" with "at no charge." That's brief, simple, and probably would not make the license much less useful.
But if it's important to extend the license to people who charge for source code, then my suggestion would have to depend on what kind of charge the authors had in mind (I'm pretty sure it wasn't a nominal one). If my guess is correct that they want to accomodate charging for the cost of distribution and not for anything else, then I suggest, "for no charge other than the cost of creating and delivering the copy."
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