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The dark side of open source conferences

The dark side of open source conferences

Posted Dec 5, 2010 14:45 UTC (Sun) by aleXXX (subscriber, #2742)
In reply to: The dark side of open source conferences by graydon
Parent article: The dark side of open source conferences

Please don't interpret things into my posting which were not there.
Please also don't take the right to judge me ("some behavior was unacceptable") based on a single basically neutral posting in a web forum.

I didn't change the subject because it made me feel uncomfortable.
I looked over to that web page because it was referenced in the discussion here a few times, so I thought it might be interesting.

I wrote back here when I saw that the site at least partially contains basically "blacklists" with posts from people which the editors considered inappropriate.
I was disappointed by this.

Alex


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The dark side of open source conferences

Posted Dec 5, 2010 20:08 UTC (Sun) by graydon (guest, #5009) [Link]

Your behavior wasn't "basically neutral". I will explain what *was* in your postings, since you claim to be unable to see it.

You entered a conversation with a first statement denying the topic's validity, re-centering concern on your own perception, and ignoring the links about sexualized environments and harassment. Many of which discuss how the (mis-) perception and trivialization of the topic by men is central to the problem at hand.

You followed one such overlooked link only when it was pointed out to you again (by a man), but didn't read any of the text on that page, just went looking for a "random" incident by clicking around the containing wiki.

You ignored all the other incidents, the hundreds of pages of patient explanation, all the explanatory text, and picked one incident about transsexuals and transphobic speech (which isn't the topic here). You ignored all the text explaining that it was about transsexuals and all the links and terms that could educate you on why the incident in question might have been a problem.

You found a quote you "couldn't see" a problem with, but didn't google the term you didn't understand ("carpet and drapes"; which leads to a first-hit definition of its slang meaning).

You ignored all the other quotes in that thread which you might have more readily understood as problematic to transsexuals (trivializing the topic, shifting the discussion to penises, cracking jokes about women on magazine covers, false claims of gender-blindness).

You chose a defensive and self-centered framing for your interpretation of the thing you saw but didn't understand: "PC", "censoring" and an attack on your freedom of speech.

At this point I called you on your behavior.

Conversations like this have very clear patterns; if you don't recognize them, read some of the linked description of the patterns and what they mean. I'll link again below. Actually read them. All the text. Look for your own behavior in the descriptions. Suppress your defensiveness; reflect on your own reactions. Use a calm, open mind and assume the people speaking are are actually trying to explain what's going wrong, to help you change yourself for the better:

http://blog.shrub.com/archives/tekanji/2006-03-08_146
http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/10/01/the-dos-and-dont...
http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Silencing_tac...
http://derailingfordummies.com/

And finally, concerning "blacklisting" (note: no names were being collected, only quotes) please see:

http://geekfeminism.org/2009/08/19/why-we-document/


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