As part of the group [LWN.net]

As part of the group

Posted Jul 29, 2009 22:11 UTC (Wed) by graydon (guest, #5009)
In reply to: As part of the group by fuhchee
Parent article: OSCON keynote: Standing out in the crowd

There is no "defense", because it is not an argument. The point is not to win a fight; the point is to listen and reflect.

If it helps, maybe try treating discussions like this as personal mental challenges: can you exercise sufficient self-control to suppress your defensiveness and accept, without a critical response, what's been said?

Seriously. It's not like you're going to suffer any negative consequences either way.

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As part of the group

Posted Aug 2, 2009 23:14 UTC (Sun) by Baylink (guest, #755) [Link]

> can you exercise sufficient self-control to suppress your defensiveness and accept, without a critical response, what's been said?

No.

What's being said is "Baylink - you (and many others) are a bad, thoughtless, uncaring person, and you must figure out how, and change it"

I expect someone who's going to tell me that to have to convince me, in a palatable way, that it's true. If you can't be bothered, at *least* to convince me that it's a general problem in a believable fashion, then I'll blow you off.