Let me say it again: systemd services are NOT written in C. systemd replaces bash with a new declarative language, which does not have the downsides of bash. If you want to change the way that a service is launched, you change this config file -- you don't have to download or write or compile any C code, making your rant irrelevant to the systemd debate.
> Scripts are easier to understand than C code because they're using a higher level language
You're stating this as if it were a fact, but it's not -- it depends on the task. I won't take this further because it's a red herring to direct attention away from the real argument.
> I can't believe I have to explain the most basic characteristics of scripting languages in a forum like this...
Wow, that's a nice way to say "I'm right and you're stupid because you disagree with me"