> There is also the little nagging issue of the patents on the filesystem format and the associated Linux-hostile company that is actively asserting those patents
The UEFI spec includes a formalized version of FAT32 with long file names. It is free to become an "Adopter" of the UEFI specification (most parent companies of distros already are) and that grants you a patent license to everything in UEFI.
IANAL and I forget if this includes using FAT for non-UEFI purposes, but this seems like a clean solution to that problem.