Aurora: DEFCON: Why conference harassment matters

There would be a dramatic change in atmosphere after a few attendees ended up in jail but I doubt anyone wants it to reach that level (including the women) but I have to say if they don't listen to what she's saying that exactly what might happen. This isn't a joking matter, just like the other articles have said if this atmosphere continues this will mean not a single company will attend or participate if for no other reason then being associated when the inevitable bad press hits.

Surely, but men probably face greater dangers than woman.

For example, every time you approach an apparently single girl, there's a remote risk that he's actually with a boyfriend who is in the bathroom (or otherwise temporarily away), and that he comes back while you are talking with her and gets really aggressive with you.

I think I personally only got some strong pushes away and angry threats that way, but I have feared worse a couple of times, and you can risk a punch in the face or worse if you are very unlucky.

Now of course as a man you can just be asocial and mostly avoid such situations, while women get approached regardless, but that's just a biological fact of life.

In fact, it's kind of good for girls, because it makes it harder for them to be socially underdeveloped than boys (and that's partly why nerds tend to be males).

I have to admit that it could be hard to find enough women interested in kernel memory management. So the content of conferences might have to change a little bit to attract a better balance of the sexes.

Failing that just have separate conferences for men and women.

This is entirely and 100% unrealistic. You put men and women together you WILL get sexual tension. There is absolutely no way to avoid it. It's part of what makes humans humans.

> There is not one drop of "sexual tension" in my office because being professionals we are capable of keeping our personal and work lives separate.

If you think that it is only because you are not paying enough attention. Adult human interaction is very subtle.

Either that or you are making yourself oblivious on purpose. This is a common approach that people use to try to avoid stress.

> they should keep their personal life and professional life segregated and anyone that isn't capable of that shouldn't be attending the conference.

They can't. The definition of professional is that your profession is a major part of your life. It's like trying to make your left arm is separate entity from your body through shear force of will.

> The behavior that's been described at these conferences would get people fired and black balled in my profession.

Don't be so high and mighty.

What people CAN do and SHOULD do is control their behavior, be aware of what is happening around them, and treat females with the respect that they are _ENTITLED_ to. This is a requirement for proper male behavior.

It's disgraceful to act in a disrespectful manner towards females. Mistakes and lapses in judgement are normal and they are going to happen so it's important to be willing to cut people a lot of slack. But a male that can't behave is liable for some small amount of justified physical violence.. including bodily ejection from a conference.

I understand what you mean, but let me just point out that it is not related to the job to me. One has to respect others at all times, that's the basis of democracy. If anyone starts harassing someone else, then they're breaking the 'equality' part of the Human Rights.

But the problem isn't with attraction. The problem is with *behaviour*. Essentially all people are able to be attracted to someone, and nevertheless treat the same people with respect.

The atmosphere should *demand* this, when it does, essentially everyone conforms. There's a *reason* it's fairly rare that a male will grab the ass of his female boss, but fairly common that he'll grab the ass of some random female in a bar. The reason is that he thinks he'll get away with it, because the social setting considers it "acceptible", or if not, then atleast close enough that nothing is likely to happen to him.

The problem isn't that he's unable to control himself. The problem is that he doesn't think he *needs* to in a given situation.

Technical conferences should have an atmosphere where people are aware that they need to behave.

That simple, and that difficult.

Considering that about a quarter to a third of marriages are somehow related to the workplace, I think your demand is completely unrealistic. Apart from that I'd rather work with real people than with professional robots.

"Although conference attendees aren't necessarily coworkers, they should keep their personal life and professional life segregated and anyone that isn't capable of that shouldn't be attending the conference."

So I'm not allowed anymore to socialize with people at conferences, have some (maybe even too many) drinks in the evening and have fun that may even be unrelated to the conference's topic? Why have conferences at all? We can have a perfectly impresonal and professional atmosphere online after all. No need to meet.

It's not a matter of being professional. It's a matter of being a civilized person and not a caveman.

My employer, a company of about 300 employees, not only does not discourage dating fellow coworkers or recommending spouses or other relatives for employment, but it actually *encourages* it. Because they realized that happy employees are good employees. Sure, disrespectful behaviour and harassment should never be tolerated, but other than that putting restrictions on private life does not make people happy.