Leaping seconds and looping servers

1) When the event occurs, get a timestamp from the nearest convenient national lab atomic clock.

2) Wait a few weeks while the different national labs compare their clock's relative drift rates over the last period, pick some sort of average as the "real TAI time", and publish tables mapping from what their clock actually did to this consensus clock that doesn't exist.

3) Look up the timestamp you got in step 1 in this table.

It's hard to make jokes about time...