They should add a CONFIG_BREAK_PERF option which randomly adds padding to perf events, and a CONFIG_BREAK_PERF_HARDER option which randomly removes fields from the events.
Utilities which can deal with event formats changing would keep working, with just a bit of performance loss (or information loss in the second case), and utilities which do not parse the format description would break. Even better, by being a config option it would now be part of the ABI: perf events can change randomly from one boot to another, so you better use the format description.
(Now you have to decide if I am joking or if this was a serious suggestion. Or both.)