The dark side of open source conferences

What men have to realize is that this behavior is a power play. It's not "fun," or "a joke" or anything else but intimidation. It's certainly not about forming any kind of healthy relationship. It's an effort by those men to tip or keep the balance of power in their favor. It's about control and often a lack of self-esteem or self-confidence on the part of the man. Men who act this way are often feeling threatened in some way, perhaps not by the individual being assaulted as she may be a stand-in for someone or something else.

Training men to recognize this in themselves and work through those issues is also a necessary step to stop this behavior. If a woman is assaulted, the man should go to jail, no excuses. But if men take the steps to understand their own personalities and shortcomings they can learn ways to express frustrations and fears in productive, positive ways. Unfortunately, our society does not encourage such deep personal examination, vulnerability and openness.

The same goes for racism and all the other ways that individuals or groups attempt to maintain a power imbalance in their favor.