> As the same time, there's often a hypocrisy in these communities. When a change is suggested, half the developers shout "show me the code"; when the code is written another half complain about the style or how it's the wrong way to do it
Perhaps there is a sweet spot in-between? For instance suggesting the change, being clear that you are willing to author it and discussing with those involved (before you start and as you go) how to do it in a way they would find acceptable? Perhaps I would see things differently if I were currently trying to get a major change into a major project of course.
Note that this isn't really aimed at Ubuntu, just to say that I can understand when project owners are a bit coy about who and what code they "let in".