I forgot to mention one thing that bubbled in my brain but failed to find an outlet the last time...
Let's consider the word derailing. I'd like to argue that 90 % of the guys are probably making an entirely honest effort in trying to understand the feminist position. Unfortunately, they have been primed by widely circulated feminist statements like "all men are rapists" or similar blanket statements that finger them as guilty and on the wrong side for things they never did or planned to do.
Men judge these statements absurd and do not believe them, because we could hardly live with ourselves if all that was said about men by some feminists were true. Regardless, we are primed to be in a defensive, personal mood, even past what may be male biological conditioning: "I didn't do anything wrong, it's you who are being crazy and unfair". The consequence of this starting position will be an attempt to prove it, and thus follow the steps written in the derailing document.
Women seem to have categorically decided to not pander to men: they do not see any need to help us understand them -- after all, why should women sacrifice any iota more of their time and soul to help men -- but that has the unfortunate side effect of making it even more difficult to understand what women are saying at all. It's a bit like everyone was dug in their trenches and time of discussion went past decades ago.
That derailing document is biting and maliculous to the bitter end. This may be why it works. But that means that it is also unnecessarily difficult to read for even sympathetic audience. For a man, it may take an attitude of almost zen-like detachment to read it fully. As such, it can do more harm than good when you pull it into debate: it can easily feed the "women are crazy" side of the argument. Of course, you have much more real experience having presumably used that document in more than one occasion, but that's my take on it.
I would ask women to learn from Valerie Aurora's style. It's impossible to take offense with her style. I submit that words that get read are infinitely more valuable to those that do not.