... Just don't do this as you are talking to the TSA guy at the airport,
about to board the plane. He's likely to take you literally, if not
because he believes it himself, then because he expects others in the line
... And don't do it /on/ the plane either. You're likely to get the thing
diverted, and end up being the subject of a rather forceful manual
inspection of the interior of your hind side!