The Real Jeff Merkey [LWN.net]

The Real Jeff Merkey

Posted Jun 21, 2005 2:58 UTC (Tue) by jeff_merkey (guest, #30580)
Parent article: Jeff Merkey rides again

I'm a typical narcissist.

I've taken too many drugs, so my reality is deluded.

The entire internet hates me because of my ugly personality. I like to blame others for this problem. I don't have enough self-awareness to look inward and realize that I am the real problem.

My life is lonely because no-one is my friend. I am such a flaming jerk that I don't even have the social skills to attract women.

Instead I spend my time creating negative energy for everyone. I waste taxpayers money with ridiculous lawsuits.

I'm a panty waste.

Sincerely,

Jeffrey Merkey

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The Real Jeff Merkey

Posted Jun 21, 2005 8:00 UTC (Tue) by jeff_merkey (guest, #30580) [Link]

Dear supporters,

I am the real Jeffrey "Litigious " Merkey... believe no other prophets! I am the true toad licker!

I wave the flag of the Indian nations under false pretenses, using it as a cloak of protection provided by Federal law to legally participate in peyote using rituals. I have no clue as to the real history and plight of the Indians, nor do I care, as long as I can get cheap peyote.

I'm regarded as a paranoid-schizophrenic, and can't take any personal criticism because it may cause me to fall of my delicate edge of sanity. My only sense of retribution is abuse of the law; I'm too much of a wimp for a real confrontation, one on one, mano a mano, because I'd know I'd get my silly little ass kicked.

I like calling myself "Chief Scientist," when in reality it's just a title I was given in the glory days of Novell. True scientists know how to evaluate information subjectively. I can't, and never will... because my mind is rotted from excessive peyote use. Even a federal judge thinks I'm a netk00k.

Now if you don't quit talking about me, you'd better get a good lawyer and expect to raped by my discovery motions. Because the reality is that I have always been a NetWimp , and will continue to be a NetWimp .

Sincerely,

Jeffrey Merkey
666 Avenue De Netk00ks
Left Field, Nebula Orion

The Real Jeff Merkey

Posted Jun 22, 2005 2:53 UTC (Wed) by jmerkey (guest, #30549) [Link]

Post of few more of these. You are certainly roving my case for me.

Thanks

:-)

Jeff

The Wall

Posted Jun 22, 2005 7:34 UTC (Wed) by jeff_merkey (guest, #30580) [Link]

I'm woven in a fantasy, I can't believe the things I see
The path that I have chosen now has led me to a wall
And with each passing day I feel a little
more like something dear was lost
It rises now before me, a dark and silent barrier between,
All I am, and all that I would ever want be
It's just a travesty, towering, marking
off the boundaries my spirit would erase

To pass beyond is what I seek, I fear that I may be too weak
And those are few who've seen it through to glimpse the other side,
The promised land is waiting like a maiden that is soon to be a bride
The moment is a masterpiece, the weight of indecision's in the air
It's standing there, the symbol and the sum of all that's me
It's just a travesty, towering, blocking out the light and blinding me
I want to see...

(Steve Walsh/Kerry Livgren)

The Wall

Posted Jun 24, 2005 20:47 UTC (Fri) by s_cargo (guest, #10473) [Link]

Congratulations on finding a way to act more childish than the real Jeff Merkey.

The Wall

Posted Jun 25, 2005 10:20 UTC (Sat) by jeff_merkey (guest, #30580) [Link]

You're welcome!!!

The Wall

Posted Jun 27, 2005 22:13 UTC (Mon) by s_cargo (guest, #10473) [Link]

That was not a compliment, nor an expression of gratitude. Go tell your mommy you're not grown up enough to use her computer.

The Wall

Posted Jun 28, 2005 21:16 UTC (Tue) by jeff_merkey (guest, #30580) [Link]

Ok daddy!!! Shall I leave it on for you so you can surf the p0rn sites when mom goes to sleep, like you always do?

The Wall

Posted May 15, 2006 2:00 UTC (Mon) by nmerkey (guest, #37746) [Link]

your an ass don't make fun of my family especially me.